Errrr..

I somehow feel so low today and the worst part is I don't know why. Help me explore:

Maybe it is due to the excess sleep that I am indulging in during the Pooja vacations, something I am not very used to of late!! Or, wait a minute am i feeling low because I now no longer feel the appetite for my favourite time pass - Sleeping!!

I would like to believe that this mood swing is caused by the movies Butterfly Effect and The Notebook that I saw in the last two days, the latter based on a novel by Nicholas Sparks and a favourite of my sweetheart. I have this uncanny habit of going into a trance after watching a movie with a sweet sad ending (the only reason I like Sholay, which I otherwise felt to be rather long and boring, was because it had a sad ending..sob sob!!). Ofcourse movies like Notebook (the novel surprisingly I did not find as engrossing) bring back old memories, the kinds with which you don't know what to do - One knows one would be better off forgetting them but then the temptation of cherishing them all one's life is too big to resist. Its like a hangover caused after 6 pegs of whiskey and my friends from college know what 2 pegs do to me.

I know it cannot be because of the fact that after playing an excellent round of Golf in the first 7 holes (2 pars and 2 birdies), I screwed up my score in the last two holes by playing shots befitting of a 36 handicapper! Nor because I was not able to play good Tennis later in the afternoon.

I know it would make my Sweetheart really filled with joy if I attribute the reason of my sadness to her being away to here nani's place in Ambala because of which we haven't been able to talk lately, but in all honestly I somehow know it is at best only a part reason to my misery. Or to look at it in another way the fact that I am writing all that has happened in the last two days, as an excuse to explore the reason(s) for my feeling down, is because my sweetheart is incommunicado atleast for the time being.

The most probable explanation ocould be that I am now accustomed to hard Work, and vacations like these are a big dampener of my spirit to keep working hard. What is difficult about this routine of working hard in LLB is that the gestation period is a little too long (3 years) for comfort. I just hope time proves true to its character and flies fast enough so that I move from this phase of uncertainty to certainty. Though, I know I should not complain as I have been responsible for all the choices that I have made.

Anyways with issues identified I am a step closer to resolving my predicament. Wish me luck!! Till then have a happy and auspicious Eid-Ul-Fitr and a prosprous Dusshehra.